Still in One Peace – September 23, 2026 – Blog
Weekly Conversations with Pastor Jeff
One of my favorite authors is James Martin, S.J. He is profound in his ability to communicate the Good News of Jesus in the most relevant and helpful of ways. He writes a monthly column to a devotional guide to which I subscribe. I was blessed, inspired and challenged by his column on how to pray for difficult people. The Mormon church had a tv advertisement years ago and the tag line was, “Those who need love the most, deserve it the least.” Isn’t it true? If you would like to grow in your ability to pray for the difficult people in your life, check out these profound words by Fr. Martin.
Teach Us to Pray
Praying for Difficult People
Fr. James Martin
Years ago, I lived with a Jesuit (now deceased) who disliked me intensely. Now, I hope that doesn’t disedify anyone who imagines religious orders as places of consummate harmony, but occasionally, because of human nature, these things happen. I hasten to add that it happens exceedingly rarely: I love my Jesuit brothers, and I hope that they love me too. My vocation as a Jesuit is one primarily of joy.
But my vocation did not bring this other Jesuit much joy. For most of our time living together, he refused to talk to me, sighed heavily when I spoke during meals, and occasionally cursed me when we passed in the hall. For some reason, which I could never fathom (I tried asking, but he refused to speak to me), he despised me. I know I’m not perfect, but this went above and beyond a natural dislike into hatred.
In despair, I asked a wise older Jesuit in our community for advice. “You can always do two things,” he said, and I hung on his next few words. “You can always be cordial to him. And you can always pray for him.” It was a lifeline for me. And I started immediately to do both.
My spiritual director said, “Ask God to see him as God sees him.” A few weeks later, a fellow Jesuit saw this man mistreating me rather harshly. And he said, sadly, “He must be in so much pain to treat you like that.” Finally, I saw him as God saw him: hurt, wounded, and lashing out in pain. It didn’t excuse what he did, but it helped me to understand him and be at peace. Now that he is in heaven, I hope he feels the same reconciliation that I do.
James Martin is a Jesuit priest and editor at America magazine.